Wednesday, March 4, 2009


A little diddy about me, my day and my inability to find compassion for stupid people and the lack of size 11 shoes.

Can I just say, today was not a great day. It was a really crappy day. I thought it would be ok, and then it just turned to shit. Now, towards the end of the day and a little pharmaceutical (all legal and prescribed to ME) intervention I can actually look back and appreciate getting through such a crappy day.
It started out ok. I took a shower and left early for my “before the honeymoon waxing”. As I can hear all my kids and new kids say “ew” in unison, rest assured that is the extent of the details. But, it was also one of the most tolerable events. From there I had to call the eye doctor because my eye was hurting when I put my contact in and I was worried about a billion different things. First, I had lash extensions put on yesterday and B; my grandson has an eye infection. Add that to all the crap I’m around at work and I thought that big red spot on my eye should get looked at. Funny thing, the doctor that saw me was going to his own daughter’s wedding today. He was very nice and all the staff was intrigued by the extensions. Turns out, it’s an infection. This is my first eye infection in like 15 years. He gave me a prescription for some antibiotic drips and told me to put them in every 2 hours and then I could wear my contacts for the ceremony and when I took them out to throw them away and continue with the drops. He stated “I’m telling you this, because I know that you’re going to do it anyway”. Hmm, he must have some incite to bridal thinking. Frankly, if it doesn’t feel better I’ll be sporting my black frame glasses with my pearl earrings. The drops sting like crazy and I think this is directly related to the karma coming around after I pried my grandsons eye’s open and put drops in his. From now on, I’m letting his parents take the hit!!
I was sad, but not as worried about getting shoes. My shoes weren’t coming and I know the odds of finding a comfortable pair of size 11 without a gimongous heel are very very slim. But, first things first, I need this scrip filled and I need to get on this eye thing. I go to the nearest Albertson’s on my way to get my ring cleaned. I spent the first 30 minutes behind a large gal who was bitchin’ about Medicaid a and b and how she always gets her oxycontin with her lortab 7.5’s and why they are at it could she get the lancet’s she needs for her blood sugar machine?? Apparently, she needs to call the “leg doctor” about adjusting her pain meds so she can get more. She is my dream patient – NOT! I finally gave them my prescription and there was a harrowing 10 minutes where the tech wasn’t sure they had it in stock but, holy cow! we are lucky, we have the larger size. I’m thinking – I am surrounded by idiots. Of course, I had no idea. I scoured the store for little packs of tissue, some chocolate and bottled water. These are all very important tools for the gal with the eye goop. I came back to the pharmacy and sat down just as the tech said that my drops were done and to get in line. So I did. I waited while some guy paid out about 300.00 bucks in medication. Oh, I wanted that story. It looked like some asthma medicine and he didn’t have insurance. I can hear the democrats now, “DA DA DAAAA”. Just as he left and I took one step toward the counter I hear this, “MA’AM”. So I turn around and set my eyes on lurch and his assistant. Apparently they were in line first even though I saw them standing about 15 feet away from the line when I stood up AND they waited a good 10 minutes as I stood there to make me aware of this situation. So not only did he interrupt my conversation with the pharmacist, he was rude and inconsiderate. I hexed his stash of karma and stepped back. Then he tried to turn to me and give me this insanely unfunny story about how the guy he was with he has to pay by the hour. I had nothing to say to him – I had officially become too good for my environment. If it wasn’t the antibiotic drops I would have just walked out of the store. I gave my dignity for those damn drops!!
To make things worse, I get in the car and start crying. Now my eye is killing me from those salty tears and I am thinking that this whole wedding thing is shitty! You know those thoughts in your head….”I work my ass off and then… and ….and…..I might as well……..” I know you have had them. After a little chocolate and some water I was able to get the drop in my eye and then I decided I really had something to tear up about. It’s kind of like a hot poker – even though I haven’t really seen a hot poker – I can imagine it.
Next stop was Ari Diamonds (the Fort Union store) to get my princess cut buffed to perfection. I have nothing but great things to say about them. We bought the diamond from Paul at the Layton store, but I didn’t want to drive up to Layton for a ring shine so I went to the Salt Lake location. The gentleman there was so nice and got it done lickity split and wished me the best of luck AND gave me another jar of ring cleaner. My day was looking up.
I finally get to the mall, go to Dillard’s and head to their shoe department. I looked around, found some shoes and when the sales lady approached I asked her if they have these styles in an 11. The look on her face was just unforgettable. “Oh no, we don’t have them that big” Yeah, ok. By the time I finished in the mall I would go into a store and say – “Do you have anything Bridal-ish in an 11”. The only one even somewhat concerned for my cause was the salesman at Nordstrom’s. I believe that is because they usually have 11’s, but with the new store opening on my wedding day, now they have nothing. I tried an actually Bridal store (GASP!) and they don’t have them either, although the saleslady tried to convince me that a certain brand ran big.
By the time I got home I was pretty sure that the shoe thing was going to end up in a slipper thing. At least the cheese cakes got here and Matt was kind enough to get them ALL in the fridge. I was able to get all my swimsuits packed for the honeymoon and a couple of other things done. Sami and I then went to our “pre-wedding” mani-pedi. Can I just give one big piece of advice – Don’t change mani-pedi places just before your wedding. I am deaf from hearing them talk very loud Vietnamese (or whatever) over me and not paying one ounce of attention to what they were doing. Sami and I were out in 30 min and off to find different fingernail polish and do our own.
BUT FIRST, we had to solve the shoe problem. Famous Footwear offered a couple of selections and I actually picked up a pair of some new fangled sandals that seem to be the style. They are flat and they may match my dress, but in a pinch they would do. Then we went to Nordstrom’s Rack. I had been there a few days before and hadn’t seen anything, so I was skeptical. Then I saw them, a pair of Franco Sarto’s that I could actually wear with a wedding dress. They were even partly wedges!!! The light did shine and we bought those bad boys and were out of there!!!
Now, it’s about 3 hours later. My friend Chris is in town and he dropped his daughter, Lyndsi off at my house for now. She is use to it here and fits right in. Jake has been a great help in getting the cheesecakes to my mom’s house where Christie will be decorating them. Melissa sent me a pic of the bunches of flowers that she got. Caroline texted me to make sure the cheesecakes were here. Everything has fallen into place and I didn’t actually go Bridezilla on anyone!!! I am lying on my bed, relaxing, with the rest of the chocolate in my tummy and a sleeping pill in my future.
My always wonderful and deeply caring fiancĂ© is out with the boys. I told him only 3 lap dances, but frankly I don’t think his friends will get drunk enough to actually do it. (Difference between men drinking and women drinking) I can’t wait to get married and I’m almost packed for the honeymoon. One more full day before the big day and one more opportunity to freak out. No one knows for sure…..

Blog on…..

*note* I am not angry and I do not blame anyone in my family or any little baby with an eye infection for my day.

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