It's a new year!!

Happy New Year!

I brought in the new year the best way possible.  Exhausted from flying around in a helicopter transporting those patients having a really bad day.   I had an awesome pilot and a kick ass medic.  Together we had a pretty great time despite being in the air for over 5 hours.  

But what about everything else?  

I finally have a few minutes to think about it.  If anything I am the master of putting things off.  Even thinking about the new year.  More then resolutions I love to reflect.  I have a lot to reflect on.

2014 - Reflections of a Year Indescribed.

Last year I felt shitty.  Physically I was good but mentally I was a huge mess. (See here) I considered therapy many times but just didn't want to do it.  What I really wanted is just to "let it go" so to say.  The smartest thing I did was allow me to feel.  It is OK when I'm mad or sad or even just depressed.  I did lots and lots of reading and research.  Watched all the documentaries I could find.  Then I was super pissed because MY personal experience with someone who is first a lying sack of shit and second a Transgender gave me negative feelings towards all transpersons and that is not what I'm about.  Being aware is the most important.  I had some bad days where I thought I would be depressed forever. But mostly I was just stuck.  I think I am still, but just a tiny bit.  It's a slow process.  

I bring it up first because I'm waiting for at least one day when I don't think about it.  I did make a great step when I went to his friends house to return his guitar to him through them.  They had moved.  Wow. Weird.  The guitar is in the basement.  Done worrying about it.  I don't know how I'll get it back to him and I'm not caring about it today.  

And ENOUGH about that!  I move forward and I feel SO much better as this year starts and I'm excited about that!

Running - It was an OK year.  Lots of problems with my left leg and lots of visits to my Physical Therapist and Massage Therapist.  Ton's of core work and even lots of running.  I think I found the right shoes and my feet don't hurt at all.  Still working on the leg.  I have 2 HUGE goals for this year.  Ragnar Del Sol Ultra  Relay Race in February and the Ogden Marathon in May.  I've committed to decrease my OT and work more on my running.  Weather and some crazy work days have interfered a bit but overall I think I'll make it!!!  ::Fingers crossed:::

My last run of the year!

Family -   All kids - all amazing.  Sami moved back in to go to nursing schools so for 1 week out of 3 I have 3 kids at home.  It's good.  They are awesome and I love them.  They are working hard and they are such great people.  My parents are suffering the effects of old age and I hate that but they are still doing great.  

My kids are top notch!

My nephew Charlie hanging with me on Christmas Eve.

Work - It's great.  Then it's not.  I'm a little burned out with the ICU but I know it will pass.  Flying is amazing but then I have long weeks of not flying.  Then I have another amazing day of transporting and BOOM!  Love it.  I think that's what a career is about.  The ups and downs.  Helps keep you appreciate of the great days.  

Taking a kid for a bucket list ride.  

Stupid Cancer.

Thumbs up for a great time!

Work fun times and great new friends!

After my last flights of the year I played the game - who got what med.  Then I ate Oreos and I was able to properly think.  

Friends - Have them, love them and without them I would be a huge huge mess!!

My favorite pic with so many great friends!!  

LOVE LOVE LOVE

All the other silly things I love.  My house is still a mess but the office is somewhat done and the basement is in chaos.  It's clean but cluttered.  My house looks like we are in a constant remodel/rearrangement.  We lost Zoe this year but we still have Ted.  He's old and amazing! 


2015

YEAH BUDDY!

I'm excited, really excited!!  A little chunky but I won't let that get me down. 

I don't have any real resolutions.  Just plans.

*Stay on my running schedule

*Try not to get hurt
*Work and get better at what I do
*Organize my house and PURGE all the stupid shit
*Work to stay close to my friends
*Enjoy my new friends
*Watch Breaking Bad from beginning to end
*Ultra Relay
*First Marathon
*BALI in September
*Finish getting shit paid off 
*Go on a date without immediately thinking about ways to keep them separate from my life.  i.e. trust
*Botox - heaven in a needle

Is that enough?  Will it keep me busy until September?  

ANYTHING can happen this year!!!!  ANYTHING!  My options are endless!  I love it and I love the way things are moving along. 

 Classy Attitude.  

hehe

Love my new tattoos

Now the big question.
What am I going to do with this blog?

I don't know.  

Does that help?    

I love writing and I love updating my blog.  I've been doing some amazing things with running and trying new products and I love sharing that.  I've found the best information from my favorite running bloggers.  My heart wants me to write and write often.  To share the failures and even the success's!  Ive had some opportunities to try new products and interact with other bloggers and it just hasn't happened.   That last picture of the dog with the PBR cans was amazing and every time I went to update I saw that pic and thought to myself, "that's awesome" and didn't update.  SO I'll limp it along for a while until I make a real not so half ass commitment.  If anything it will be sort of a diary and I'll have a place to put some of my more complicated thoughts.  

What are some of your most exciting memories of last year?

Whats on the plan for this year?

Blog on................

Stress. Is it a fracture, condition or mental tension

Good news.  I have my Ragnar post down to 30 pics!  It's the best to tell a story via picture anyway.   Unfortunately this is not that post.  

*************insert excuses because I work way too much**************

Even I'm getting sick of hearing about it.  It's true, we know it, we live with it.

Today was what I believe culminated into one of the most stressful days I've had in a very long time.  When I say it culminated I'm saying that the past 3 weeks have been interesting at best and have seem to have come with a POP of new stress for me.  I will address them in the coming weeks. Sensitivity (although I'm struggling with it) and that intention makes the timing not my own but someone else.  

ALSO

There is no secret that flight nursing can be stressful.  On my drive home from my meetings today I decided that my body has a comfort level with certain baseline of stress/adrenaline.  It would have to.  Most health care workers that work in a critical environment with lots of death, dismemberment and heartbreak have to have a resistance to some stress or we would all have break downs.  My job takes me from "I'm so bored I'm gonna die (drama queen!)" to "eff me! eff me! eff me running with a chainsaw!"  

That doesn't mean I'm saying that out loud or even faux swearing.  I believe in going big or going home and unfortunately for some around me that means I talk like a sailor when I'm stressed.  When I'm on a scene call or in an outside facility setting that sailor uses it's inside voice.   This whole ramble about my inside and outside voices was just to accentuate what happens on some calls.  Granted most of my calls are pretty straightforward and we have wonderful policies and procedures in place that my experience as an ICU nurse and flight nurse kick in and I'm good.  I'm on task and using my big girl brain cells to do my job.  

Then there is the once in a while flight that you get that makes you reconsider every decision you have ever made since you were born.  Every patient is different and there is no way to cover every possible scenario.  But when I have life's stress that have nothing to do with my job then go to work and end up sticking my fingers in someones chest or working with my medic to make decisions that can mean life or death then it adds up.  It also adds some distraction, excitement and almost giddiness to actually doing it and doing it successfully.  

So with all this vague crap that I can't go into, which is annoying to me too, and a few weird and stressful experiences at work and then my yearly "hey, your heart sucks" **echo then I was feeling a little DONE. 

BUT YET!  I am not done.  Today I had to present a very difficult flight to my team.  Stand up in front of everyone and tell them what I did right and wrong and lessons learned.  I had the best medic ever, Matt Black - and he was a rock star and came to help out.  (He was on the flight)  

By the time they got to us I had napped, laughed, cried and slipped into a short coma.  The presentation went well.  I have a great team and I really feel that they weren't criticizing at all, but we all learn by asking questions and from other peoples experiences.  The presentation felt great but for the love of God I was glad it was over!   

The ride home was filled with thoughts about decreasing my stress and handling this little blip in my life. Luckily I made a very good choice.  I decided that for all my hard work I will reward myself with a nap and some hydration.  (water!  nerd.)

Funny thing.  I came home and jumped in my jammies, had a snack and made the nap a reality.  

My bed in nap mode.  I always nap in my favorite blanket on top of the bed. 

Later, when I woke up, I washed my face, ate and went back to bed but this time for the night.

I can't be the only one that does this.  If I am then I like to think I'm a trend setter.  

Physical exercises helps a lot.  But I would love to tag a pinata once in a while.  The only downfall would be the fact that there has to be a stick/bat available to hit it. Things could go wrong.....very wrong.

On the most positive!  

New glasses are on order!  Any day now!  The sunglasses are RayBan and they will be prescription.  The other glasses are a flexible titanium (KACHING!) but will be great for wearing while I work and under helmets and head phones.  

Dealing with stress is very individual.  I've tried desperately to not be eating my feelings as much as I really want to.   Running is amazing and being physically exhausted in a good way is relaxing.  I'm so very grateful for my kids, my friends and I am so lucky to have a beautiful warm house to live in. I'm in no way on the slippery slope of a breakdown.  I'm just blowing off some steam and giving myself a little leeway.  A little pampering and concentrating on staying healthy.  

Other tips for stress relief:   I look at silly things on Tumblr and youtube.  

Tumblr kills me it's so hilarious!  Gifs of Cats slapping the crap out of various people, animals and things or riding on Roomba's are keeping me sane!

Tee hee

**long standing condition, but I took video and pics this time!  I'll explain later...I know, I know.   I don't mean to be a tease...or do I??  

Do you have any special ways of handling stress?

Napping - in the covers or outside?

Avoiding stress eating?  Is there a special technique?

Blog on.............

Back to my regularly scheduled life.

 It's summer!

This is what happens when your plane sits in the sun and we forgot to pull down the shades.  Hot as Haites!!!  I may or may not have been whining at this point.  Luckily it was a non patient leg of a transport.  Also, super lucky, the airplane has some great A/C!   

Work has been super busy.  Not just the actually hours I put in but the extra training and stuff involved with being a flight nurse.  My second job is going great and I don't have anymore "after work hours" stuff to do.  Being a nurse is a blast, but the continuing education can be over whelming.  With that, I'm done with excuses and whining.  I love working hard and even though my blog suffers, I don't!  

Plus the running....

A quick 3 mile run in Rock Springs.  Getting ready for the Wasatch Back in a couple of weeks and running at a higher elevation.  My pilot made fun of me in this outfit.  He was sure I couldn't be seen....haha

Here is my new brace.  

The only pain I have now is around the Peroneal nerve.  

(notmyfoot)

I'm not sure that I have tendonitis there but I wouldn't be surprised.  

My foot hurts the worse when I am in my flight boots. I looked everywhere for flight boots that may help but they are so expensive and there is no guarantee the pain would be better.  So I bought the brace and it fits nicely in my flight boots and so far so good.  My foot aches when I'm on it all day but the PF part of my pain is still pretty much gone since the surgery.  

Just still taking it slow on my runs and working on form.  It's not very exciting and I can't wait to get back to higher miles.  I just pimped all my friends into running and now they are running like crazy and I hate missing out!

In the meantime, I'm trying out this cleanse.

Here is a review (not mine).

Her review on the second time around.  She has some good hints!

It took a while to find a week when I had 3 days that I thought would work but I've started today.  My expectations are not to loose ton's of weight or anything (it's only 3 days!) but to get rid of this weird feeling of fullness.  I know I snack too much even though I eat healthy 90% of the time. 

THEN..just before I started.  My Magic Bullet bit the dust.  It had put in some good time so I wasn't too heartbroken.  I replaced Mr. MB toot sweet!

DOES ANY JOB IN 10 SECONDS....OR LESS!

How can I pass on that?  The new one has the bigger smoothie glasses with sipping tops.  It also has the bigger blender attachment. 

Its the small things.........

What is your favorite recent purchase?

Blog on............

I’ll take my milk in a saucer please…..

Sometimes I can be catty.  Although I never mean it to be malicious or hurtful, the word catty seems to be perfect.  I’m usually catty in my head or to a trusted friend.  Why does it feel good to hang out with a great friend and freely speak your mind about those around you? (sorry if you thought I was perfect, it's an easy mistake)

Today’s catty thought was in my head.  There was a lady in my TRX class that was talking to the instructor and complaining about the price of classes.  First of all, the rent was raised at our studio and secondly, the prices are not only fair but probably the cheapest in town.   In my head I said to the lady: “You are wearing a full Lululemon outfit so you obviously can afford something nice to wear, next time don’t buy the outfit and you can buy at least 5 classes……and your hair color and cut is crappy”

In my outside voice I said, “The classes are still a very good deal”

True. Personal. control.


This was too funny not to add!   Shake! Shake!  Shake!

Speaking of speaking our minds, I tend to speak mine (which is not to be confused with being catty).  In the last year I have had two experiences where speaking my mind led to a person/friend to just stop.  It’s hard to describe what they stop doing.  Stop interacting with me in a friendlier manner, is the best way to describe it.    Weird.  Because these people (2 of them) seemed to embrace and enjoy my more outspoken personality but then I said something they didn’t like and BOOM.  Or did I?  I have no idea exactly what happened. Shutdown.  There was no conversation. 

“HEY, we are having a confrontation here!” was a line I heard today on one of my audio books.  Perfect.  I feel like I am left standing alone, being robbed of the other half of the conversation.  I am perfectly happy to listen to someone tell me how they think it is or how I am wrong.  I can admit I am wrong.  I tend to talk before I can think and I've mastered the art of apology.

 

I don’t want to really talk about either of the people or the situations (I do and I have but not in this venue) because I know there is always 2 – 3 sides to a story.  I do know that I have been asked, “what happened?” and I am left with, “I have no idea!”  I guess if I've learned one thing from my perfectly loving parents is that it’s just not worth making a deal out of it and forgiveness is best. 

I will just skip along………….

On the bright side!  My TRX class was uber awesome and I had my butt handed to me by my instructor.  I did every exercise he wanted us to do and if you've ever taken a kick ass TRX class then you can appreciate what a success that is. 

I think my delt’s are even stronger!!

Plus I got to smell and smooch this little head tonight:

My niece:  Lisette.  Daughter of my brother Dave.  She is scrumptious.

Blog on……….

Ah ha!...and things are clearer

Finally figured out why my foot hurts so bad when we are flying. The vibration!

In the past month or so I have noticed that I'll be sitting on the plane on a transport and my foot starts to ache and when I lift it off the ground I could just scream HOLY HANNAH!  So much pain.  I would try different foot positions and crossing me legs, but sooner or later it was start to hurt again.  Well, during our last flight I had an epiphany.  It was the vibration of the plane.  We travel in a pretty small plane and there is some vibration.  SO, I tried setting it on the life port, but that proved to be uncomfortable.  

Then I tried making sure that the pained foot was on top of crossed ankles.  That didn't work too much either.  (Please keep in mind that my patient was sleeping and very stable - plus they look towards the back of the plane)

No one was neglected in the taking of pictures.

Before we left for our final leg home, I grabbed some 2 inch tape and wrapped my foot on top of my sock.  

It totally worked.  It gave my foot just the extra support it needed and I was able to walk comfortably.  This picture was when I got back to the apartment after the flight.

When we landed, or took off (I can't remember) in SLC it was a beautiful sunset.  The red sunsets have me a little paranoid from my childhood upbringing in an organized religion.  The one that says the end of the world is near when the sun (or the moon) becomes blood red.  Hard for me to come up with the details but when I was little I was so scared that I use to check the sunrise and sunset just to calm myself.  Another great reason why that whole shebang is just not my thing.  Guilt and fear..ick.

This is a little time backwards, but I like the overall message.

On our flights lately I have noticed how cool it is to get above the clouds.  It's summer and so those pretty fluffy clouds usually mean a little "light chop" or "shake, shake, shake" in our airplane.  But the views are amazing.  On the right is a picture as we are below the clouds, but can still see whats above.  It's very obvious how clear and bright the blue sky is. The picture on the left indicating we have broken free of them and we are just skimming the tops almost like sliding across a marshmallow pillow.  It was a pretty clear day and these clouds were pretty high - about 20000 feet.  The thoughts that came to me (there is no patient in the airplane at this time) is about how clear things are over the clouds.  It feels very metaphoric to me.  A cloudy day of trouble and one look up and I know above those clouds is the bluest clear skies, clean air and clarification.  In my mind I hope to keep that analogy in my heart.  When I'm feeling covered in clouds to just look up and ahead and know that whatever is causing my "cloud" that soon it will clear and there is a place that is cloud free.  Like the song, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone..." Close?  

I'm not usually that observant, but I've spent a couple of days soul searching and re-evaluating.  I seem to do it often and with the changes in the past year, it was due.  Whenever there are changes there are adjustments to be made and when I finally get a plan in motion there is always something that is going to temporarily derail the plan.  I thought it would be easier as my kids grew up and I grew older, but it really is not. Now I have to come face to face with the beast of mother nature AND still try to live my life as well as I feel I should.  The wonderful news is that no matter how old I get or the obstacles I face I can always move forward at whatever pace I can.  (running metaphor......:))

And I must say..I LOVE running!!

Blog on.............

Hot and Lazy

Since I have been home from work last Tuesday, Matt has been in California working.  Even though I miss my husband, I have been enjoying the lazy days.  All my workout clothes thrown on the bed with my favorite blanket and computer.  I laid in bed a lot and browsed the Internet, snacked and napped.  It was a good recovery from that long stretch of flying.

I did manage to clean things up before Matt got home tonight.  I hate coming home to a messy house and so I try to have things cleaned up before he comes home from out of town.  The black spots on the carpet by my bed? That is Ted hair.  We vacuumed 3 times today.  We have brushed him over and over again.  Poor guy.  Poor vacuum.

Another look at Audrey3.  I put a bungee cord up for her to grow along the porch.  We'll see if that works.  I'm pretty sure it won't hold a pumpkin, but I like to see how far it will grow.  I'm fascinated by how big it is!!  Nothing we planted in the garden is busting out like this.  Maybe I should plant my garden in the front flower beds?

Left a little later then I wanted to this morning, but I made it to Liberty Park to do my speed work.  I did Yasso 800 Speed work.  When it comes to running and training it seems that everyone has an opinion.  I've read that they are a waste of time and don't predict anything.  As far as speed work, I love them!  I can push myself without dying.  I am up to 6 X 800. The way I do them is I warm up with a 1/2 (which is 800 meters) mile walk/jog and then run as a pretty good pace for 1/2 mile.  My training pace calculations put me at an 800 meter time of 4:20.  Today I did anywhere from 4:02 to 4:45. After each one I walk for a bit and then slow jog for 1/2 mile.  I finished my 6 miles with an average 11 min/miles for my recovery and around 8:30 for my 800's.  Not too shabby and I burned 612 calories.  Woot Woot!

Today after my 2nd 800, I really needed to pee.  I passed the restrooms when I was running an 800 and I thought I'd make it around again.  Not so much!  The park is big and has wonderful running and bike paths.  About the time I finished my 800 I knew I needed to hit the pottie.  I walked through a short cut to the bathrooms but alas, I'm getting old and barely made it.  Meaning I peed my pants a little.  TMI?  I wouldn't want any other runners who have this happen think that it is totally unheard of.  Luckily it wasn't too much so I finished my run then got home to shower - instead of running errands.  No one wants to smell like pee!!!

It was definitely a beautiful day!  It was almost 90 degrees, but this park has awesome water fountains and I was able to stay hydrated and kept pouring water on my head.  Love the dry heat!

By the time I finished I was hot!  You can't tell in my pic, but I'm pretty wet with sweat.  That worry wrinkle really bothered me when I took the pic, but now that I look at it again, it's not too bad!  At least the braces come off in 3 months.  That will feel so good!  

I came home to shower and do some housework.  It helps to have some music to jam to.

This is the cable that is attached to our stereo/DVD player in the living room.  It's definitely old, but it works and I hate spending money for something just because it's newer.  Unless it's running shoes...of course!!  

Matt gave me a new iPod Nano for my birthday this year.  I find it almost too small.  I need to get a wrist holder so I can quit dropping it.  Trying to hold it and change songs etc, I feel like Zoolander with his little phone!  (great movie BTW)  I took this picture because it's funny how tiny the iPod is and how huge the cable is.  It works great!  

Shootings:

Most of today has been spent rehashing the shootings in Colorado.  Lots of posts on Twitter and Facebook addressing the tragedy.  It is horrible.  Unfortunately I see tragedy way too often.  This is just bigger proportions.  The family that looses a loved one to an accident, sudden illness or a personal attack hurts just as much, but society is a little complacent about these deaths.  Victims who die because they were hit by a drunk driver do not get news channels everywhere to proclaim that alcohol should be banned.  

Accountability cannot be legislated and neither can kindness and compassion. We can only do our best to be kind and compassionate and hope that our Karma is catchy.  

I really could go on and on..but it really is just my view of the world.  Someday I will post on my views on politics.  Maybe. 

Sending peace and love to all the victims and families of tragedy.  All of them.

Blog on...............

Little Shop of Horrors

This plant, which shall now be known as Audrey 3 is what we have guessed is a pumpkin plant. I have mentioned her briefly in a previous post. Matt and I have no idea why three pumpkin plants started growing in our front yard flower bed. We don't carve pumpkins at Halloween and have no idea where the seeds came from. 


I can be a little eccentric at times and I wanted to ride this out. Of course Matt, the linear thinker, is insistent that we keep them trimmed up. Plants aren't suppose to touch concrete or house!! (and I'M the OCD one!)


There is no fruit yet but lots of "male" flower buds. It grows a foot a day and I need to figure out a place for it to go.


I'm enjoying watching it. See where this high risk crazy behavior takes us!


Go Audrey 3!!

Blog on........

Lights and sirens

I spend a lot of time in the back of an ambulance. To and from various airports and small hospitals, I am getting pretty good at working in that crazy atmosphere. My entire career as a flight nurse (7 months after training) I've never taken my patients lights and sirens to the hospital. It's dangerous and not that much faster in most cases. My last transport - we went lights and sirens.


I obviously can't talk too much about my patient transports. Their privacy is very important. The details of this post include changes protecting my patient and my job.


It was a pediatric patient. That blond hair and perfect little feet and toes. Subtle clues of the active life precluding the tragedy. I knew it was coming. I did my best to prepare for a sick pediatric patient, but studying means nothing unless you can show up and put your knowledge into practice. Keeping myself calm around a small ER that was in Mass Casualty mode for its limited resources. Dr.'s nurses, EMT's, respiratory therapist - everyone they could get was there. And boy, we're they happy to see us.


I was pretty sure I was going to pee my pants or shake so bad I couldn't function. Fake it til you make it, I always say. Children, babies! I have to do it. I can't panic. Thank god my medic was calm and confident. He admitted to me later he was just as scared and that I was so calm. Amazing.


They ran us around the corner to our patient. Around us we saw siblings, all victims. Concentrating on what we had, we went to work. I was given a rundown of injuries and interventions. Let me clarify - multiple people yelling and talking very fast giving me as many details as they could remember. All the while working around the bloodied and broken child.  My call to the accepting physician was constantly interrupted with more information, giving the receiving team a clue as to what was to come.  I was lucky, I had an awesome and calm physician on the phone giving me great information and answering any questions I had.  


Less then 30 minutes from our arrival we had this child packed and on our way to the airport.  Making a verbal "to do" list with my medic, we prioritized our care.  The most important thing was keeping our patient stable and getting to definitive care.  No more tests or interventions were going to help more then a Level 1 Pediatric Trauma Center.  


The flight was a what they call a "yard sale".  We are in a loaner plane and all our supplies and equipment that we didn't carry with us was all shoved in the back.  Getting to it was tough and then you drop things and open stuff and drop some more, all the while stressed out of your head to get whatever you need to do done quickly.  Our pilot mentioned to me later that he turned around to tell us to sit down because of possible turbulence and we had stuff in both hands and looked super busy.  He was awesome and snuck around the clouds so we could continue to do our jobs safely.    


I'm sure I'm making it more dramatic then it really was in the plane, it was probably more of a controlled chaos.  Whatever we did, we finished the list and our patient stayed stable.  


After we landed we hustled, lights and sirens, to the children's hospital.  We had done everything we could.  I re-medicated for pain, reassessed and then I said to our little patient that we were almost there and keep doing awesome.  To hang in there.   I pushed that blond hair back from swollen eyes and a bloody face.  


We arrived to the magic of medicine.  Watching 6-10 medical personnel do a specialized choreographic dance that I have seen dozens of times with adult patients.  I updated the team.  I watched them work.  My medic and I pulled it off.  Together with our combined knowledge and various experience we raced up that learning curve and did our very best.  

Children give us all a different sense of urgency and compassion.  All those wonderful ambulance drivers, EMT's and our pilot were suddenly ready to rock. Rock in a very quiet focused way.  I'll never forget this transport.  Just like I'll never forget my first code, my first trauma and my first death and withdrawal in the Surgical ICU.  If you watch TV shows like ER and Grey's Anatomy you miss the very best thing about saving lives.  It takes a village.  Sometimes it feels like we are a village of idiots, willing to do insane and crazy stuff to save lives of people we don't even know.  There is no big star doing just one thing, it's everyone. Everyone that touched that child wanted to do their best.  


Even if it means, lights and sirens.


Blog on............

Give me Strength!

I’m having one of those weeks.  You know the ones.  Where it takes you DAYS to do what can be done in one day, you always look tired and you dream of taking long naps.  These periods of time happen once in a while to me and I can’t figure out what precipitates it.  My shifts last week were not necessarily tiring. I had an all night flight, but I had plenty of rest and sleep when I got home.  I have just been dragging.  I have made it to every Pilate’s class and worked out every day but Sunday.  I thought if I gave myself a day off from the gym then I would feel a little better.  Not so much. I even drank lots of water and my favorite hydration drink, NUUN. 

I had a list of things I needed to get done when I got home from work last Friday.  I had calls to make, projects to finish and bills to pay. It’s now Tuesday night and I still have a cabin project to do and a phone call to make.  I could have done it all in a day, but magically dragged it out for 4 and tomorrow will be five.  The good news is, it will be all done before I go back to work on Thursday in Rock Springs for 5 days. 

After much thought in the past 2 days of why I feel this way I’m sure it is a combination of stuff. First, I think I’m a little depressed. This is what happens when I can’t run. Any runner will back me up when I say that injury is a throw down.  Add that to the stress Matt and I have with all our travels coupled with having 2 teenagers at home that are struggling to find their independence and I have a trifecta for sadness.  Another thing, I dropped my carbohydrate intake under 80-100 to lose the last few pounds I want to lose and that can make your energy levels drop briefly.  At least I’ve lost a few pounds!  Woot Woot!  Stress at work, stress at home,the never ending dog hair and the heat.  Tada!  There it is.  Doesn’t make it easier, but it does make it better to know the possibilities in my lack of energy and motivation.   It’s hard to be filled with too much self-pity when I realize how silly it is and how hard things could be.  Plus there are many times when I've had the same stress or even more and managed to keep my energy up and motivation going.   It could be my monthly cycle or (heaven forbid) I finally go into menopause!  (completely sarcastic)

So I took a long nap this afternoon.  I didn’t think I would sleep after 9 hours last night, but I did.  I owned that nap!  It was spectacular in so many ways. 

This is exactly how I feel.

Daniel is feeling it too.

So the pity party is winding down, I plan to give out the party treats and start cleaning up tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

Blog on................

How Old??

Sphincter say what?  
That is my answer..it's very "Wayne's World" and definitely mature.  I don't mind birthdays and I don't mind getting older but I'm pretty sure I'm over it.  My 30th birthday was average, my 40th birthday kicked ass so I'm going to have to do something spectacular for my 50th.  Thankfully I still have a few years to plan out the entire three day festival. 


This year I had the privilege of being allowed/invited to run the Wasatch Back Ragnar and it landed on my birthday.  It seemed perfect.  What a better way to prove that age is just a number by running a relay race?  Even more awesomesauce was the fact that my second leg started right after midnight (on my birthday) and it was my hardest leg. Take that!  Mother Nature.  I'm super stoked about all the minds I picked at the race and ideas about running and running better.  I have a 5K next weekend and a half marathon in August, then I do the Napa Ragnar. 


I did spend some time this weekend just mulling things over.   So many inspirational people at these races and people that you hope you never become.  I think running may have become my midlife crisis.  Probably cheaper then a sports car, but not cheap - at least not for me.  (buying new running gear is the BEST)  But the past year has seen lots of great things happen.  I finally landed the job that I always dreamed of but never thought I'd be able to.  I've been running better then ever.  My health is good.  That whole breast biopsy thing was negative.  My kids are doing good and I can't complain about my marriage. My body is better then ever.


So how am I going to kick it this year?  Guess I'll keep on keeping on.  I have at least 6 months of races.   I definitely want to bust off this last 7.4 lbs that appears to linger right around muffin top status.  Guess I'll have to go for another long run to get some thinking done about that.  


I know that this next week I'm going to try and figure out how to post from my iPhone.  I take most of my pictures with the iPhone and then I think I'm going to post them and then i don't.  It's all so silly since we have the technology.    Matt gave me an awesome iPod Nano for my birthday.  I love love love it.  I've been looking at getting another one that is a bit easier to use and carry.  Although, all this technology - I think my iPhone and iPod are collaborating right now.  Take over the universe?  me?  Wipe out my pictures????  NOOOoooooo!!!

 Post 48th Birthday run.  I look just like my mom in this picture.  Can't wait to get these damn braces off either.  Still feeling Awesome!

Especially with Honey Bucket on our side.  It is amazing how clean they were able to keep them and how easily I can "take the browns to the Superbowl" in them.  Maybe I should get one for our house.  TMI?  ::::shrug::::

Cool instagram pic of my Nano.  Or is it a clock?  It's a clock on the Nano!!  Yes, it's almost 2am and I can't sleep.  I'm in Rock Springs and I'm off shift until 10am.  I should really sleep.  What I really wanted to do was take a picture of my iPhone and iPod discussing their plans for total world domination....but then, what would I take the picture with?  CURSES!!


Ragnar post pic to follow as is the Chicago/Radiohead extravaganza with Daniel.  


Blog on..................