Thursday, February 26, 2009

The face of Selfishness.

About 4 years ago, I had a best friend, Chris, marry another friend of mine. They moved away, had a baby boy and then divorced.

My friend Chris is the father of these wonderful children. He raised Lyndsi alone from a very young age - I'm thinking it was 5. I met them both when Lyndsi was about 9. We have spent the last 10 years being best friends and Lyndsi is like a daughter to me. I try to have her at my house for at least a week or two a year. When Hunter was born, Chris was already living away from Hunter's mom and Chris spent many weekends being with his son and his daughter. Even as Hunter was a tiny baby, he was very hands on. Although I wasn't near him (He lives in Colorado) I was sent pics ALL the time. About the time Hunter turned 9 months old, Chris's ex-wife decided to make things difficult.

I am not privy to the details and I don't know how or why it happened. I do know that if she was thinking of her son and his relationship with his father, Hunter would still be spending many weekends with him and Lyndsi. Through the courts she prevented Lyndsi from seeing him and Chris was only allowed supervised visits.

Most people are going to think, "He had to have done something horrible for her to be able to do that". I know Chris pretty well and know he isn't perfect. There is one thing I do know for an absolute fact. I know that for about 5 years he spent almost every weekend making sure all his friends and their kids had a great time camping and boating. I know that when I was dirt broke in nursing school - he would pay my camping fee and not take any gas money from me. I KNOW that for YEARS he was on the sidelines of EVERY SINGLE ONE of my boys football games. He was more dedicated then some of the dad's!!! He loved kids and made sure that every kid had the opportunity to go in the boat and be pulled around on the tube. He watched my kids a couple of nights when I was working a night shift in school. I also know that for the last 2 years Chris has always gone to his weekly visit, even when it is only two hours.

I have strong feelings - obviously. I don't want to judge, I just want to see that picture on my blog. Tonight was the first time Lyndsi and Hunter have seen each other in almost two years!! It makes me delighted and heartbroken at the same time.

I have been divorced and it is SO tempting to use the kids to hurt each other. It's almost impossible to not let something negative slip out once in a while. I am glad that I was smart enough to know that the only thing it would hurt was my kids and I am glad that Bill felt the same.

Treat people how you would want to be treated. Karma. Do not tell a lie.

Find peace within yourself.

Everything will catch up and soon Hunter will be able to go to his dad's house, ride in dad's boat and just be with his dad and his sister.

No comments:

Post a Comment