Ode to Zoe...

On Monday March 11th our sweet Zoe died.  

She was fine in the morning when I got home after a 24 hour shift.  I went to run at Liberty park that day and when I was done Daniel called and told me that something wasn't right.  She was stumbling around and really weak.  He had already called the Vet.  I was so proud of him.  He waited for me to rush home and we picked her up and drove her to our vet.  By the time we got there she was almost unconscious.  We knew we were on borrowed time already but having to make that decision was heartbreaking.  When I asked Daniel what we should do he said, "I just wish this wasn't happening".  There was nothing else to do.  I didn't want to take her home to suffer and I didn't want any tests done on her.  There was nothing I was going to do anyway.  So we had her put down.  Awful and miserable.  Lots of tears!  

Zoe was born Lady Zoee Lacee on October 11, 1999.  She was initially raised by a family with small kids.  When they had twins, one of them was allergic.  I found Zoe in the ads of KSL.  We adopted her March of 2001. Her name was Lacy and we named her Zoe before we even saw her papers.  She was a perfect fit for us!  I needed her!  With my kids going with their dad every other weekend and some summers, I needed something to keep me grounded and responsible.  

She peed on this bed.

We bought her a coat that she hated.

Cuddling with Daniel.  One of my favorite pictures.

Jake and Zoe

Sami and Zoe

2001

I couldn't find a picture of Austin or me with her when she was younger.  I'm sure they are in a box somewhere.  

It's funny because she came from a family with toddlers but she hated toddlers and jumped on them to push them over.  We kept her away from them except my nephew Charlie.  He loved Zoe and would laugh when she would try to jump on him and then chase her.

These pictures are in the last few years.  

Jake playing with her and Sami smooching her.  

Zoe owned the couches and insisted on moving the pillows where SHE wanted them and then sleeping.  

In 2008 we adopted Ted who joined her in play and shenanigans.  Notice her on the chair?  If you sat in her chair she would stare at you to try to get you out.  She was a smart dog and we were sure she was the one telling Ted to get dishes out of the sink and bread off the counter.  

She was also a scavenger.  I called her the bottom feeder.  Especially in the last few months she has been under my feet tripping me as she waits for me to drop ANY food.  She was pretty much deaf and almost blind so she couldn't dance around my feet like she use too and by the end of the day I was sure someone was going to get hurt.  

We were also pretty sure that she KNEW she was smarter and better then us.  She was kind of a bitch, but the kind you could love endlessly! 

When we discovered that she had lost control of her bladder on the couch just before she died we are positive she did that as her last "Eff you".  Because that is the way she rolled.  I guess you could say we were soul mates.

This picture was taken by my kids dad the day before she died.  Getting loves and smooches to the end.  Zoe was with the kids from the time they were little.  We were devastated.

Good bye Zoe!

Holiday Ho Ho's!

What a wonderful Christmas day!!  

Mostly because of these little rug rats!  

It started out a little tense.  Out of the 60 hours I put in up at Rock Springs I only flew one time and that was a late flight at 7:15am on Christmas morning.  We tried to fly at midnight but the runway wasn't plowed and of course they got up early and plowed it in time for us to fly her before our shift ended.  That meant that I didn't leave Rock Springs until noon. I also spent the first half of Christmas in my thermals and sweats that I wear under my flight suit.  Which mean that the day culminated in the most refreshing shower ever!

  Arrrrgggghhh!!

I did get to pass off my patient to one of my favorite nurses and the new ride!

It was so nice to be with my kids and my dogs and just RELAX!

Daniel

Jake

Austin

Sami

Weirdos

Ted is ready for his present!

So is Zoe!

Ted is protecting his new squeaky steak!

Merry Christmas!!

Blog on.............

Oh the Mockery

Maybe it wouldn't bug me so much being injured if my life wasn't saturated with running stuff.
Blogs, friends, magazines, everything!  
I noticed every runner today.  It was beautiful and the weather perfect this morning. 

I think they are mocking me.

So I Google'd pictures of hurt runners.  











I actually have this cast from a stress fracture a few years ago.



It would be unbearable if I had a treadmill.  Although it is gym day tomorrow.  I wonder if I could call ahead to have them cover them up for an hour.

Of course I couldn't resist checking out how all my blogger "friends" are.  Well, mostly I just stalk people.  

Shut up and Run had this picture.



I won't bite though.  Kick some ass, but not bite.  I don't put random shit in my mouth...period.  

It could be worse.  I could spend my birthday at a certain steak restaurant that has you sit on a saddle while they sing to you.

I was unsuccessfully trying to be sneaky.

A 16 year old and an 80 year old.

I went to lunch with my great friend Chris and his son Hunter.   They are in town for the weekend.  We were amazed that we hadn't thought of a rolling saddle in our party days!

Plankapalooza was a great success and my sides/back and abdomen are all sore.  So I hung out with this gem:

Zoe really doesn't have anything to do with planks.  I can imagine that she would be sore if she did them - she is older then me, in dog years that is.

We drove across the valley to get an all natural/fresh turkey.  Zoe was cold so I put a towel over her and turned on my seat heater.  Spoiled old hag.

Love her to death!

How do you explain running and injuries to non-runners?

More then anything, people have laughed and wondered why I ran on my foot for so long.  It's almost impossible to explain.  THEN the shock that I am downright depressed about not running.  It's only been ONE week.  Lord have mercy....

Blog on.......

Zoe update

The vet called and left a 30 minute message on my cell phone. OK, it was probably about 2 minutes, it just felt like 30. He is an awesome vet and very thorough.

Looks like the Mast cell tumor on her butt was a stage 2 and he was able to get it out with clear margins.

"we done cured her of that"

That is a direct quote from the vet. As far as the tumor in her jaw, he has only seen two of those types of tumors (I can't remember the name exactly) in the mouth. Apparently in the mouth they become dangerous and quick growing. When she was X-Ray'd before surgery it looked like the tumor had invaded the bone. He took out some of the bone, hoping to help get rid of it. I will meet with him in a week to get her stitches out and get more details. He did recommend a Veterinary Oncologist that is just down the street from where we live.

Most of the time my head is just saying, "Serious???"

I mean, what is cancer's deal? Can't it just leave my pet alone?? I know of families that have lost pets to cancer and it is devastating. Cancer seriously sucks ass.

I will probably meet with the oncologist to get an idea of what she thinks and what kind of treatment she needs. I don't want to do any radical surgery or anything to make her suffer too much but I also don't want her to have a huge tumor that impedes her ability to eat and she just suffocates to death. That is super no bueno!

Speaking of cancer sucking ass:

The other day at work I had two cancer patients. These aren't my first patients with cancer and will not be my last. Both of these patients were awake and talking and getting ready to get out of the ICU. My interaction with them was great and their stories were heartbreaking. Before I transferred them out I read their histories so I could give report and guess what? Their stories were even worse then I thought. That day was spent thinking of my mantra for avoiding self pity.

If you think you are having a bad day, I can promise you that someone is having a worse day.

It's usually worse then you can imagine.

We are sad that Zoe has cancer and I am sure that as she gets worse and dies we will be even more sad. Really sad.

Even then, someone else will be having a bad day that is so much worse then mine. I find a sense of peacefulness and overwhelming gratitude every day as I interact and care for the people who are experiencing the unimaginable.

Blog on.............

Zoe has the big C

Earlier this week I took my little furry kids to the Vet. It was time for shots and a once over. Ted is doing fabulous without a worry. Unfortunately, although Zoe is acting totally normal, the Vet found 2 different kinds of cancer on her. They found a lump on her back end that is a Mast cell tumor and she had a tumor in her mouth that was growing over her front side teeth. I had noticed the swelling in her mouth the day before, but for the most part we never saw anything. Thursday she went into surgery and they were able to get all of the Mast cell tumor and most of the tumor in her mouth. I don't remember what it was called, but I will find out more in a week. While they had her under, they cleaned her teeth and removed all her skin tags and growths that she had acquired in her old age. She had to stay over night and when Sami and I went to get her in the morning, we were expecting a sick and sad dog. What we got was, well, Zoe. She came leaping out all excited and jumping all over us. That was great to see.

Next Thursday we go back to get the stitches out and find out the staging of the cancer. I think we've done all we are going to do and hope that it grows slow, if at all. I have started some homeopathic diet on her and we are just hoping we can keep her for another year or so. I had no idea I even had to worry about this with her breed. Apparently it is common for Bostons, Pugs and especially Boxers. This is a good reason to get a mix breed from the animal shelter. They are actually less susceptible to the disease and problems of pure breeds. I don't regret one moment having Zoe and we have loved her and had her in our family for close to 10 years.

Zoe gets a smooch from Sami.

Then she bites her. Rude!

On the left side of her chin, from this angle, is a little short and swollen. They had to remove a portion of her jaw. Needless to say, she gets soft food, warmed to the perfect temperature and she still gets it all over.

The bottom lip is sort of sewn into her mouth - or it's just swollen. It's hard to get a good look. It hurts her and she just doesn't like it.

This is wear a large "7th nipple" was removed. It wasn't a nipple at all, but that is what we had named it. Just a skin growth - no cancer.

Picture of her hiney. Cute pink stitches keeping it all together. This is where the mast cell tumor was.

Posing.

She has no idea what is going on and I can see it in her face, she thinks it's all a little creepy. Gotta lot her though!!

Blog on..............

Sunday rain

It's been raining like crazy..even lots of thunder. I think Zoe looks stressed.

Blog on.....

Missin you at all!!

Matt was in San Francisco for a full 24 hours. Do you think Zoe missed him?? Behind Matt, sitting on the floor was Ted waiting for his turn for affection. Guess he's won the dogs over!

Wadda day.

My dog hasn't picked up the point of having a sheet over our couch. Apparently she didn't get the memo that it is to keep HER dog hair OFF!

Princess Zoe making herself comfortable.

We had a HUGE rain/hail storm. JUST as the UPS man was delivering a package. Plus the lowest part of our gutters seems to be over the walkway. It was the welcome rain curtain!

Blog on...........

Desperate times, my friends.

There is easily thousands of things that bother me on a daily basis. Luckily I am in tune with my inner "doesn't want to bother with that crap" side and most things don't have much of an effect. With one very large exception. Dog Hair. Drives me absolutely crazy. Ted has the finest, lightest and stickiest hair ever. It's not really sticky, but it's like hair that has been rubbed with a balloon for about 12 hours.

We vacuum every day with the Dyson Animal. Matt brought it into the marriage and it is one of the most vital components of our love and commitment. Today, I had HAD it! I have a sheet on the couch to prevent Zoe hair from invading and now, Ted was going to have to pay. I had vacuumed and turned around and he immediately scratched his neck and left a glob of hair.

Most of us avoid brushing Ted for 2 reasons. You could brush him a week straight and still get ton's of hair and b. the hair sticks to you like your in a huge static ball. I had done some research about "pet vac's" etc. but the reviews were sketchy.

Here is my solution:

Yes Matt, that is the shop vac attachment I pulled off the side and duct taped our furminator pet brush to. I still had to pull the hair out of the little combs, but all in all it was a much cleaner approach. Ted was a champ, but a little skittish. After I was done, I took off the attachment and gave him a good vacuuming.

This, is what I found IN the vacuum:

I was elated!!! Look at all that hair with a lot less work! I'm sure that if we kept it we could stuff enough pillows for the world or get a spinning machine and knit a world quilt. I threw it away. Some things I just can't renew or reuse. It's the republican in me, as is the duct tape.

Post brush/vacuum. I like to think Ted is telling Zoe to run, run like the wind before mommy vacuums you!!! Hehehehe.

Blog On....